a premature ode to my blue jeans

background music: "come together" by joe cocker from motion picture soundtrack of across the universe

warning : this is one of them mindless posts. skip if you have something better to do .


i've a love affair with denim jeans since i hit freshman high school when we can wear "civilian" clothes every friday for school. heck, 11 years of wearing school uniforms, i swore i would never wear a skirt when i get to college.

and i don't think i ever wore a skirt to class in college, until graduation.

you probably have that one pair that you love. the one that looks good on you no matter what top you wear. i've had two other fave jeans of past. one pair i got from my friend PJ as a present from the US. it was a faded button fly gap jeans that i wore until i couldn't fit into them. the other one, a pair of moonwash black levis jeans,of the 90's grunge era. i wore them jeans everyday in college. my friend "slouch" had a pair he wore almost 24/7 in college. we used to tease him that his jeans can stand on its own because he never washes them. gritty.

i have five pairs of blue jeans that fit me, but there's this one pair that i just love. i got it summer of last year. my friends ria, lubsi, and candy encouraged me to invest on a pair of expensive jeans because they really fit better. as i was looking for that perfect pair, i went through about 4 other pairs from old navy. moonshine's face was a keeper because she said i've had about spent as much on pair of designer jeans with my three or four pairs from old navy.she's right of course.

and then i hooked up with joe's.   this is taken from their website (of course, my hands are not gnarly like that, tee-hee) .  this is their provocateur  fit especially made  for  short women like moi. 

it was a heavenly match i tell you. it was worth every single penny. i wore my joe's on my first date and my first road trip, and all the road trips after that. it was my own personal tape measure to record my little triumphs at losing weight. it's a bit loose now, slouchy if you may, and frayed at the hem, but i still wear it as much as i can

then one day, in one of my numerous pee breaks, i discovered that my joe's had suffered a major lesion on the left thigh area. so much for distressed wash. i'm distressed! oh no! is this the end? call modista 911!

my local modista stitched joe up and we were quite happy for a couple of months. until last weekend.

my favorite pair is undergoing surgery again. i was blushing when i promised my modista that this will be last time i'm bringing them in. if my jeans rip again, i'll have a funeral for it.

meanwhile, my four other pairs are happy to be taken out of the closet.

bunso

background music : landslide by fleetwood mac

dear jay,

it's your 27th birthday today. another year huh? this is the 7th year i am not there to celebrate with you. know that though we are thousands of miles apart, my love and well wishes go out to you, especially today.

i know it has not been easy for you, but today, i hope you will take the time to give thanks to God for all the blessings he has given you.

of the many things i wish can change in the past, it is the wish that i could have been a better big sister to you. i wish i had given you more time and attention. i wish i spent time listening to your dreams, joys and pain. i wish i had given you more encouragement whenever you felt defeated by life's many obstacles. but i was too wrapped up growing up myself and licking my own wounds. i did not notice how much you were hurting too.

although those are my wishes, i feel happy knowing that i can do all of those things right now. and i will try my best to be the sister that i should have been to you.

whenever i miss you, mom and jaypee, i do a little slideshow of memories in my head. and for your slideshow i remember these...



you at around 3 or four with the signature grin on your face, covered in mud after playing in the backyard chasing after frogs.

the look on your four year old self when you were scared shitless to pee. all because kuya jon or kuya jim told you a stupid thing about how your "bird" might fly if you pull down your shorts should you decide to pee. you painfully crying out loud "baka lumipad, mommy!" ("it might fly away mom!")

little 6 year old you banging the bathroom door, and i on the other of the side of the door yelling for mom to intervene. i don't know what i said to upset you, but it must've been very bad for you to be pissed off like that.


12 year old you taking care of your prized rooster, prepping for a day of cockfighting at the local coliseum.

25 year old you smiling broadly as we walked along the beach in donsol on my last trip home.

and last year, the sound of your voice, full of concern for your broken hearted ate. thanks bunso for thought. it means so much to me to know that you got my back during those times.


i heard from mom that you are doing well these days. i hope everything goes well with your assessment and paperwork. i am excited that you are going to be a professional soon. do not forget that we always love you, even though we are not the showy kind of family.

hopefully, next year i can come home for a visit. i intend to spend more time at home with you, mom and jaypee. with God's grace, this wish can be a reality. we should go visit lola nene's grave and maybe we can grab a couple of beers at LB square, just you and me.

chin up little brother, you are stronger than you think you are.

take care bunso, and happy birthday again.


love,

ate

drag test

what, it's only wednesday?! gah!

i can't say i hate this week because we've been testing the past couple of days. good for me since i don't really have to teach anything this week, but my kids hate testing twice as much as the regular ed kids. sitting on their asses three hours the past couple of days is unbearable to them. torture for me. with nothing better to do, my kids turn their attention to li'l old me...

student 1 : miss, you got mad small feet!
student 2 : yeah i heard they tie their feet in china


student 3 : miss can i get a drink from your water bottle?
me : no! i already drank some of it.
student 3 : it's aiyt, if i drink it, that means we kissed.


student 4 : miss, how do we tell one asian from another?
me : rolls my eyes and secretly wish i can slap this child silly



when will the hurting stop?

500

background music : 500 miles by the proclaimers


hep. this is not some partial sequel to the spartan movie. this is the number of miles i logged in to and from my weekend trip with Z. i swear. when i parked into my little spot here at home, my trip odometer read 500 miles.

and to think a year ago, i was terrified to even venture out of my town's main roads. these days, 100+ miles roadtrip is like going to the grocery.

the weekend was awesome. weather-wise, it could be better, but i am very excited at the prospect of warmer and sunnier weekends. here's a rough weekend backtrack :

arrived thursday night.

friday : post office, home depot, public library, a look see at BJ's warehouse
you know how it is with women and clothes shopping? i think there is some sense of parallelism here with guys and shopping at DIY stores like home depot or lowes. Z was like in a candy shop when we went to home depot. it wasn't that much fun for me, but i understand since i am like that when i'm in a comicbook store or a toy store. while Z was busy going through aisles and aisles of cabinets, toilet bowls, tubs, metal fixtures. i was taking note of the men to women ratio in the store. note to single ladies : home depot is a pretty decent, non alchoholic place to check out guys, if you are into the DIY, boy next door, handy man kinda guy. the guys there were pretty decent.

after home depot, we checked out their local BJ's warehouse club and took advantage of their free trial offer. it was so-so. i like costco better.
we picked up a tv /lounge pillow and headed home. talked ti' our ears bled.

satuday was philly day!!!it was a spur of the moment decision brought about by hunger and the unwillingness to stay home and watch dvds. the sun was out so we headed off to see this polish supermarket/bistro for lunch.here's our yummy sauerkraut soup


followed by the main course. polish meatballs in creamy dill sauce with potatoes, fried beets and a side of sauerkraut and apple salad for me ...

and for z, goulash in potato pancake with mushroom sauce and  a dollop of sour cream    that was a great lunch.  we took home some polish candies and polish donuts.   we had originally planned to get a couple of drinks at one of the local bars but we both decided against it after realizing we were both exhausted.     i was in for a surprise  the next day.  while i was told to stay put in his bedroom, look at what Z prepared for me for breakfast...happy girl  after a leisurely breakfast, we headed back home and had lunch at out favorite filipino resto.  we took the next bus to NYC to catch the 6pm service at times square church.    that was the end of my great weekend.   when i got back to school today, my kids scolded me for leaving them.     but that's another story altogether.    

about a boy

swiped from timmi while i was told to wait inside the bedroom while Z was preparing breakfast.

should he be handsome?
- not really a must, but that would be a great bonus!

smart?
-yup.

Preferred Age?
- i would like him to be a yaer or two older, but then...

Preferred Height?
- much taller then me... hobnit na nga ako eh.

How about sense of humor?
- a must.

How about piercings?
- it's okay

Accepts you for who you are?
-definitely. but i also want someone who will encourage me tobe a better person

Mushy or no?
- sweet, but not mushy.

Skinny? Fat?

- lean. a bit of muscles ut not too much.

Moreno or Chinito or Mestiso?

chinito? chek. tisoy naman, nyahaha

Long Hair or Short Hair?

- hmm, no more long hair for me. blond pwede?

Plastic or Metal?
- metal

Smells good?
- ay oo naman! numer one yan sa listahan ko.

Drinker?
- not so much

Boy-next-door type?
-uhm, depende sa neighborhood.

Musically inclined?
- that would be nice.

Plays Guitar?
- aray.

Plays Piano?
- uhm, pwede

Plays violin?
- anu ba?! ang OA na ha?

Sings very good?
- o wrong grammar pa. sings well, ate!

Vain?
- di naman, basta mukhang disente

With Glasses?
- pwede

With Braces?
-nope, masakit yun.

Shy type?
- slight.

From what school?
- of rock

Active or Passive?
- active

Sporty?
- that would be nice.

Singer or dancer?
- poet na lang..

Suplado?
- mukha lang.

Hiphop?
- lord, waag po!

Earrings?
- pwede

Torpe?
- ay sus, lahat silang nakilala ko torpe, i swear

Mr. count-my-ex-till-you-drop?
- no!

Dimples?
- yezzzz , malalim, ate

Bookworm?
- yup

Mr. Love Letter?
- pwede

May goatee?
- nope.clean cut

Flirt?
- no

Poem writer?
- doesnt matter.

Serious?
- yup

Galante?
- pwede rin.

Campus crush?
- nope

Painter?
- yes

Religious?
- definitely

Alaskador?
- yup

Computer games geek? Or internet
freak?
- di naman

Speaks 20 languages?
- four lang po

Loyal o faithful?
- loyal and faithful please

i'm cutting class

tomorrow.

im running a mental list in my head of stuff to bring to Z's place. clothes, shoes, books. recharged GPS navigator, camera, and mp3 player? check.

gotta gas up and clean up bruce.

it's supposed to rain all day tomorrow so i'm making a headstart for my roadtrip right after school.

some of my boys are not amused that i am leaving them with a substitute tomorrow. i told them they are not the only ones who don't feel like coming to school sometimes. i'll take that day tomorrow.

here's some early weekend good vibes to all of you.

it's one of those days

when a woman's hormones go bombastic and all of a sudden i am in a roller coaster ride of tears and confusion.

i've been sleeping a great deal the past few days, and today THE tide came. along with this tide is a couple of hours worth of mind blowing physical pain. a couple of ibuprofen pills can slow it down but it punches hard anyway.

it's a good thing i know what these blues and grays are related to -- the usual blasted cycle that i can not stop.

i tried inducing the tears. i can not believe they are that difficult to summon. am i really healed? probably not. watch, one day it'll just sneak up on me and bam!

or maybe not.

either way i will just wait here patienly and wait till this tide is over.

i am thankful that i can always talk to people who always make me smile.