Vacation Bible School

i just came from day 1 of vacation bible school at my church. i volunteered to help out, but ended up being one of the teachers since, hey, i do it for a living. :)

it's a new adventure, to say the least. i feel weird being there being a teacher and all, when i know i have a lot of learning to do when it comes to the bible. but y heart is in the right place. it was a joy to see little ones so enthusiastic to participate as romans, visiting Paul and the underground church.

i have the oldest kids, and because there were only two in my class, it was pretty easy. what caught my heart were the pre-K kids. they are so cute. i want to take one home.

during the drama part where we visited Paul in his prison cell, i felt a tear fall on my face. i remember Sunday school and for a second, i was reminded of my young self, sitting in class, listening to my sunday school teacher, basking in the wonders of Jesus' love for us. I thank my mom's family for instilling the value of worship at an early age. it faded during my smart ass/angsty stage, but when I reunited with Jesus, I felt i had that in me all along.

as i looked at the innocent faces of those children, the yearning to have one of my own became clear. if God sees it fit to bless me with a child, i know where i can raise him/her.

for now, it would be my joy to spend time with the little ones, and hear what they have to say.

dreaming series 6

music : bruised but not broken by joss stone

i was walking under the NRW station in 30th avenue in queens. he showed up from behind wearing a brown and blue plaid pajamas and a dark blue hoodie. i did not recognize him 'til his face came close to mine.

then all of a sudden we were in my car. he gave me a cd portfolio of all the cds i had. i played one in my car. i noticed that he had a faux mohawk on. i did not remember what he said, nor was my dreaming self paying attention to him. my mind was somewhere else.

in the next scene he was sad. i did not know what i said, but i remember feeling so distant from this man. what was it about him that made me love him? i looked at his face and it was a face of a stranger that i saw. he is this man but i do not know this man anymore.

i woke up. it's 6 am today.

no tears.

a shrug.

i said my morning prayers and thanked Him that this man haunts me in my dreams
no longer.

let the N train's sliding doors close now.
i pray that he reaches his destination, bacause i've arrived at mine.

and i'm staying.

dreaming series 4

i was sitting with you on top of my great grandmother's toyota corona. the car was in the garage of my ancestral home in downtown los banos. it was demolished a long time ago,now a strip mall.

i knew that we were in our present age despite the very old and forgotten setting. at one time in my dream i was wearing that transformers t-shirt i got right after i saw the movie last weekend. i know that somehow it was the present because i wore my hair long and i was hiding my tattoo from you.

i was asking you how your trip was. you told me stories like you used to. we stole a few kisses in between stories.


i woke up with a start. the tears came again. hot and searing.


a few minutes after this, you texted me.

you just back from the philippines, you said. thought you'd let me know.

dreaming series 3

i do not know where we were going. but i remember being in a cab. you told me you were going home for a month to stay with you parents. you seem so happy to go home.
i realized how i also wanted to go home and see my family.

have mercy on me morpheus. i am helpless in the dreaming.