MARIANG KALABASA

  screee!!!!   i am gonna watch the smashing pumpkins in november!!!!   yey!  yey!  yey!  this is first concert of the year.  i'll be going with Z's housemate who's a rocker type dude so i won't lok  like a sorry sap all by my lonesome there.

  rock-rockan na 'to!!!!

gnarly

something rells me this whole online class is.

my university is not playing.

snap.

part of the overachiever in me (yes, that's jane) wants to undo all the mistakes in my past attempts at grad school. i want to do well. very well. i told bipolar burr and i psyched about going back to school.

and s, at 4 am, i opened up Max (that's my new powerbook's name) and we set down to work. i viewed 17 mini video clips this morning, i took an intro assessment.

easy peasy so far.

when my third period class left, i logged on to check if my professor has posted assignments.

yep. she did.

first week's assignment : 80 pages worth of reading.

gah.

noo-ni-noo-ni-noo.

sunday in the big (wet) apple

i met up with former student dave.  he's on his vacation, and bless his heart, he found time to meet up with his old high school teacher.  that would be me.

dave is one of my beloved first batch of students, way back in 1997.  who would've thought 11 years later he and i would catch up in times square nyc?  ain't it grand?

dave is now  a nurse, a grad of hunter college.  did i mention he's very good looking, sweet and such a gentleman?  

he and went down to soho from times square.  we visited uniqlo. i got me some tights and some nice thermal tops.  uniqlo is the best place to get good quality clothing at a reasonable price.  their men's wear is very much to my liking.  i better bring Z  here or his buddy BD.  i'm sure they would like this place.  dave,  a sharp dresser,  made a couple of purchases in the store as well.  he has good taste, i must say.  

after hanging out in a neighborhood park, we headed back to my hood to eat some good old artery clogging filipino food.  

after taking a few pictures, we said goodbye and hope we will meet again.

oli, david, rinelle, brian... kelan tayo magkikita-kita?  anyone else game?

birthday

and just like that. another year has passed. it's your birthday once again, dad.
i know you peek in my blog every now and then. may this year bring you peace, love and happiness. i miss you and i love you.

tight

my schedule is awesome. i get the two difficult classes in the first two hours of school, and it's just a sweet ride from there. true, i know it's really stressful no matter what, but at least i can face the rest of the day looking forward to my three other classes.

my sophomores, who are a funny bunch, but can really test the patience of saints, have a tendency to rip each other apart. unfortunately, a thin wall separates my room from the other room. the next class can hear me and my kids LOUD and CLEAR.

incidentally, some of the kids next door are my freshmen students.

great.

this morning, B asked me if i was tired. i thought she asked me if i was tight. tight means, if i've had it up to my neck and i'm millimeters away from being furious.

me: oh i thought you asked if i was tight.
B : (laughing) miss, you know what "tight" means.
me : yeah i know, it means i'm angry.
B : what you be knowing these words by black people for?
me : i might was well, i hang out with all of you all day anyway, might as well know your language.
B : you funny, miss.
me : you have no idea.


and so halfway into class, after repeatedly imploring my kids to stay on task. i put my arms on my waist and yelled


"I'M TIGHT NOW!"


silence.


"and you all better believe it"

i gave them homework and they laughed at my face. they said i'm funny.

goodness me, i didn't know i'd be a comic teaching them kidz.

hmph.

the fat ass awakes

i just logged back in my online fitness journal. weeks of guiltless eating of pansit, turon, rice and ulam... are now biting me back on my fat ass.

it's time to get serious with getting back in shape.

i'm actually going to the gym after this post.

apparently, the cuckoo club at my local curves all went AWOL about the same time i stopped going in the summer. and now we're back in full force.

incidentally, my feeling over achiever self was dismayed when the computer records show that i've only had 69 registered workout sessions. gah! and the other chicks in the gym bravely sport 200- 300-500- and even an 800 workout shirts.

well, hooray for workout # 70 for today. i know there's a glitch because we have to scan our handy dandy bar code id tags and i normally don't because it's too early, yadayadayada.

anyway...

tomorrow is back to school night.

but before that is today.

and slim say's he's gonna visit.

tee-hee.

happy happy joy joy.

okay, time to go to the gym.

a student made me cry

blasted journal writing prompt. it's a good thing i wore my water proof mascara today.

i try to improve my kids' writing skills by making them write short periods of time everyday. and at least twice a week, i ask them to respond to a journal writing prompt.

yesterday, i asked them to write at least 10 sentences on the topic "I love hanging out with _______ "

while sophomores made it seem like they were having all their teeth pulled. my freshmen were more receptive.

i have a slim and shorty in my class. instead of a couple, these two are tight best friends, more like brothers. slim and shorty both have a bit of a speech defect, but for some reason, they understand each other perfectly. they both serve as translators for each other.

and yes, i have both of them in the same class.

anyway, so shorty has been writing intently on his journal, and took a few minutes longer to finish his work. when he finished, he handed me his journal and told me to read it. so i did. "read it out loud," he said. i was surprised. normally they don't want to share journal entries.

i cleared my throat and read...

"...me and my girl made a promise to each other that we will be there for each other no matter what. we both hope and pray that some day we will marry and have our own family, but for now we just want to be together. i love hanging out with my girl because she makes me feel so happy and important."

the two female girls in that class were also moved by his entry. i looked at him and said. "shorty, why you do dat? you be making me cry now, that ain't funny." we all burst out laughing.

but i did cry. you see, (i know this will sound corny) most of the kids i have in my classes come from tough homes, mostly single parent families and most of the time, they are seen as trouble makers or "retards" in their other classes. my kids may take more time to learn what the other kids are studying, but they can learn. and they can be as soft and mushy as any "well behaved" regular ed young lady or gentleman.

sure i can tell shorty that this is all puppy love and you know "better not get your girl pregnant lest you wanna be someone's baby daddy" but i am not jaded like that. i just patted him on the shoulder and said "that was an awesome journal entry, shorty, i am happy that you and your girl have dreams together."

with that he gave me a sheepish grin. he was hugged by his girl classmates and slim and another guy classmate shook on it.

this is my family, and i sure am thankful to have these kids with me.

now I know my ABC...

it's day 3 of season 11 titser, titser : the adventures and ms. adventures of ms. baril.

so far, i love my classes. love the schedule. love my students. i have three classes straight from 1st to 3rd period, prep and lunch break from 10:40- 1:00 pm and then two classes from 1:00-2:50. number of students so far : 8,4,6,4 and 3. wow, pwede ba itong itaya sa lotto?

i feel excited to plan activities for my classes and hopefully we can all have meaningful experiences in class.

the name change is still a bit strange for most of my students. a couple of them complained that now that they know how to pronounce my former name, i changed it to my maiden name. most of them couldn't get my name right -- they call me ms. ba-rul. or ms. ba-reel accent of the first syllable.

oh well, some of them settled for ms. b.

as for my former students, they been trickling down my room one by one, asking how i've been and how they miss making me angry. gush. i can really feel the love.

it's almost 6 am and i'm already dressed and made-up.

it this doesn't tell you i'm excited, i dunno what will.

my show starts at 8:10. i've got time to kill...

prayer in the square

there is nothing more fitting than to spend my 8th year anniversary of coming to america in an afternoon of prayer for thanksgiving, peace, hope and renewal with about 20,000 brothers and sisters in Christ, right smack in the middle of times square.

and so for our final summer date Z and i met at port authority and went our way to times square with a side trip to toys r us to say hi to bumblebee and optimus prime.

this is my first prayer rally and i did not really know what to expect. it was just an hour, but it felt so energizing and uplifting to be in that place at that time. there were several people who lead the prayers, two pastors from times square church, a couple others from other churches, an NYPD officer, a member of the US navy, a member of the youth choir, and spokesperson for a latino church. of course in between the prayer leaders, there was inspiring and groovy music led by the times square church choir.

from where we were standing, we were surrounded a numerous filipinos. there was a great feeling of camaraderie and unity. now i know how it feels when my friend pj said that there is power in number, especially in prayer.

we prayed for the next president, for this country, our homeland, our families and friends.

i'm saving the date for next year, and i hope i can take part in prayer in the square once again.

my place in this world

background music: the mesopotamians by they might be giants

while discussing a chapter on gilgamesh, and the underworld as part of her lessons in mesopotamia...

olivia: so enkidu went to hell?
me : no, he went to the underworld...

and on and on we went about the different beliefs on the afterlife of different cultures...

olivia : sighs. i'm creeped out.
me : why cutie, it's just a story.
olivia : because that means maybe we can't see each other in heaven when we die. (frowns and looks like she is going to cry)
me : maybe not, but we have now and we can see each other now. besides, we still have a little time. you have more living to do.
olivia : okay.


this was how a part of our conversation went last friday. i am amazed at how far i have gone with my two tutees. olivia barely talked when i started tutoring them, and now she is disturbed about the afterlife, wants to do her nails with me, and asked me if i will take her shopping when i sleep over next week for our weekly story time/reading sessions. my little girl is now a pre-tween.

one of the things that hit me hard going through tough times last year is the realization that i am so blessed to be in a profession that i love. what a blessing indeed to wake up everyday excited to share and learn with my students, spend afternoons tutoring a few younger kids and getting to know their hopes and fears and getting to know their brilliant minds and hearts. true, at my age i could have a child of my own, but when i think about it, i have, even in the slightest way, been mother to some of these kids.

and so, after so many years of searching, one day last year, i yelled out loud to our Boss up there and said "I get it Lord! I know where I'm supposed to be. I don't know why you think I'm fit to do this, but I thank you for such an honor and blessing to spend time with these young people."

and though sometimes i question my ability and aptness to provide academic instruction to my special needs teenagers, though sometimes i want to shave my head with the stress of butting heads with their know-it-all-i don't-care-watchu-think" selves, the next day i look forward to doing the same things over and over again.

another school year officially begins tomorrow. this is my 11th back to school year. i'm probably more excited than my students, and for 11 years, i am thankful that i am as nervous and excited as the first day of school in 1997, back in los banos, prepping myself to welcome my sophomore students to the wonderful world of asian and african literature. from rural to south hill to pre school to middle school and now to high school again, i've come full circle as i face a new batch of sophomores and freshmen to our home for the next 9 months.

lights
camera
action

now i can only figure out what to wear...

a suit story

background music : teenage love affair by alicia keys

i did it. i bought my first ever adult power suit. i said something about looking the part of a serious educator right? well at least le's get the "look" like a serious educator right. i think there's something psychological with wearing clothes that look good on you and clothes that exude a certain aura or purpose. costume/props it may seem, but i found that clothes have that effect on me.

while Z was snoozing, i took my final summer walk at the outlet malls and proceeded to the usual shops that i go to. i already know that for me to get the perfect suit, i have to go to my favorite tailor to alter the suit to my specs. even the short length pants or trousers from banana republic and j crew still have to hemmed for my height, or lack thereof.

i have always loved the chinos at j crew. the clothes, most if them i like, but i do not like them enough to shell out that much money. this is why H and M is my favorite clothing store because they have relatively inexpensive but stylish and trendy clothes. my friend lubsi also loves j. crew and this is what she calls, the place where she let's out her "preppy white self."

lucky for me, there's a j. crew outlet here down da shore.

nomally, a decent and quality all natural cloth material suit costs about $150-$200 average. and that's just the jacket. a pair of suit pants costs anywhere between $50-$120. i got both for $170. with alterations, im looking at an additional $30, but that leaves me with a $200 investment on a suit. alteration is expensive, but a must for a good fit. would've had my suit altered anyway, no matter where i bought it.

but wait, there's more to this story. i seem to really it it off with gay guys. travis, the sales assistant who hooked me up with j.crew's 15% teacher's discount was just fabulous. he noticed the trapeze top that i wore which i cinched with a belt, i told him they were both from old navy at $5 each and he was floored. i knew right there and then that he will take care of me.

and took care of me he did. i really didn't bring my NJEA card, but because i looked cute in the suit that we picked and because he said i had style, he spoke to his manager and i ended up with a 30% off on the suit for labor day sale and an additional 15%. and since i was in jersey, there is no sales tax.

i will post a picture when i have my first classroom observation. i felt a little strange looking at the chick in the suit looking back at me from the mirror. so grown up and quite sophisticated. but #1 fan approves. he says i should meet his folks in this suit.

yeah, right.

meanwhile, methinks i better practice walking around in heels with this suit.