farewell friday

i just woke up from a buzz courtesy of 2 coronas and the crazy company of some of my fun loving, never boring co workers.
yesterday was one of the most bittersweet days i've had in the middle school. everyone was infected with holiday cheer. it should have been 100% happiness because friday was last day of the year and payday friday, but i was sad because this is officially my last day at the middle school, my home for the past four years.

i look back on things and i realize that i have no regrets about what happened. i had envisioned myself at this time of the year somewhere in canada, crying my eyes out, shivering in the cold, nursing a wounded heart. yet here i am, still in jersey. eyes clear, heart intact -- thanks to the men, women and children of this school who have taught this teacher so much.

i told my friend that at this point i have surrendered myself to the will of God. shocking right? but it's true. i used to pray for the things i want, the things i wish would happen. the past few months, i have learned to let go. i may not understand why things happen, but i know with faith, things will all work out.



i look at the girl who signed her resignation letter in june. the girl who wanted to forget everything, the girl who wanted to run away. she is still here, but there is a smile on her face and a song in her heart. many people got her back, and this is more than enough reason to embrace life.


now i understand why i was not able to get a full time job in september even though i sent in applications almost on a weekly basis. now i know why i got the job at my old school as a long term substitute providing in class support for the inclusion kids. now i know why i was not able to teach regular ed english and i had to hang out in karen's rooma nd get to know the wonderful students in her class. all of these things were in preparation for my next adventure, for my next show. with the help, guidance, wisdom and concern of karen, kay, brian, cynthia,and betsy i was able to see the special ed kids in my old school through different eyes. they are indeed special. not because of their special needs as students, but they are special because they try as hard, if not harder to succeed in school despite their needs. i have grown to love karen's kids. they make me laugh and they make me feel young. i have learned the power of patience and kindness because of these kids, and they had no idea that they were teaching me.

they threw me a party yesterday. they gifted me with a framed photograph of themselves. i already know where i will put that photograph in my new classroom in january. here are some pictures i took.

i said goodbye to my crazy 7th graders. i was hugged left and right, and i hugged back. one kid asked me to take a day off once in a while so i can spend the day in the middle school. another kid almost cried because he thought i was not going to leave the middle school. i have made a good friend with such awesome women-- a very talented and big hearted music teacher, and a gorgeous and caring research writing teacher. i will miss my family in the middle school, but i am comforted by the fact that i know i am always welcome to visit once in a while.

for now i look forward to establishing new relationships with my new students -- freshmen and sophomores, mostly potty mouthed six footers who i know are not the easiest bunch to teach. my only hope is that i can do right by them.

gandalf said something like this "the battle for middle earth has finally ended, the age of men has finally begun"

amen.