in a pickle

background music : should i stay or should i go by the ramones


"don't be too good up there, they might not want to let you go."

i laughed off my former boss's remark and said, "yeah, right."

boy i did not know those words would be prophetic.

i found out yesterday that although there is a place for me back in my "home." the family in my new home are not really happy to let me go.

wow. in a way i feel loved.

so now i am in a quandary, hence the title of this post.

honestly i do not know what i am going to do. the hard-headed idealist in me wants to go back to my old home and get back to work. real hard work. back to 60 or more students. migraine-inducing checking of papers, hormonal pre-teens. and sometimes annoying parents. back to my color coded lesson plans, back to stand up comedy, back to stern li'l ol me who demands a student's shoe if he/she did not bring a pen to class and has to borrow from my stash. back to line writing when a student as much as say "shut up" in class.

the work in my new home is not bad at all. certainly easier, but a lot more stress dealing with special ed students. don't get me wrong, i love my students, especially my period 1 and 2 classes. but i yearn to teach and perform in class. i don't get to do that. it seems my primary job is to contain my students everyday for 50 minutes and prevent them from beating up each other.


of course i can always assert my preference to teach in my old home, but with the way things have been, me resigning and getting myself back in the fold, i guess i better play it by ear.

di na bale, survivor naman tayo.

ay mali, di pala survivor, winner, ateh!